Deadpool 3 :: Pitches Be Crazy

It's Deadpool meets Jet Li's The One

My opinions of the Marvel Cinematic Universe are well documented.  But, I have a great idea for Deadpool.

The Deadpool movies never did it for me.  I can take them or leave them and on this occasion I leave them.  However a billion dollar idea doesn't come that often.  This one could cure the awkwardness of how Disney can use Fox's movies for their benefit.  Why am I even doing this?  Disney doesn't need more money.  Still, enough front loading.

My memory of the 2nd Deadpool movie is that it ends with Deadpool jumping between dimensions for comedic effect.  We continue this, only this time we do it for like 90 to 100 minutes.

So Deadpool has shot Wolverine Origins Deadpool and Ryan Reynolds, so two dead Deadpools.  He realises he's become stronger, smarter, funnier and more aware.  Why?  He sits down with the old woman he lives with and on the TV Jet Li's The One is playing.  That's it.  It's almost like the moviemakers are so lazy that have stolen the plot of another movie and put Deadpool in it...

He uses Josh Brolin's dimensional jumping device (it probably has a name but I cant even remember if it was his robot arm thing or some sort of gun) and goes on a journey to "Clean up the lines!"

He jumps to different universes; including but not limited to...

Blue and Black Deadpool (is costume is one colour different and our Deadpool blames the terrible writers for that).

Australian Deadpool; the camera is upside down.

Mormon Deadpool; Deadpool in a shirt and tie.

Smokey and The Bandit Deadpool; Deadpool driving a Trans Am with a Burt Reynolds moustache.  Deadpool makes a joke about him being the greatest Reynolds to ever act that isn't named Debbie.

Any generic national stereotype that can have a cheap joke is a Deadpool and our Deadpool is embarrassed for his movie.  "This is meant to be the Return of the Jedi of Deadpool movies."

Jedi Deadpool.  "Well Disney does own our soul."

We rock through a bunch of Deadpools until we meet Lady Deadpool and Deadpool Dog (it think these guys are in the comics).  Deadpool dog is too cutie so he doesn't kill him and Lady Deadpool allows for a bunch of sex jokes for a good cheap laugh.  Of course Deadpool finds a female version of himself super hot and she has joined us for the rest of the adventure.

Lady Deadpool talks up a big bad a British Deadpool.  "Not another British Invasion".  This is where we get an ove rthe shoulder shot of an ultra gritty, dark Deadpool slumping down in a chair in front of a mirror.  Blood everywhere, out of breath he removes his Deadpool mask revealing...

Jason Statham

Statham Deadpool is on a mission to right the wrongs caused by the Disney-faction of comic book movies.  He out to kill Disney Deadpool.  Jump Cut to cutesy Disney Deadpool at Disneyland.

Our Deadpool hears about this and says " he must be one of those Snyder Cut fans".

Deadpool, Lady Deadpool and Deadpool Dog all go to stop Statham Deadpool. (That's a lot of Deadpools for one sentence).

They finally meet after asking around even more Deadpools from different universes.  Our Deadpool has stopped killing them off the back of Lady Deadpool explaining that every Deadpool that dies gives their power to the other Deadpools, so Statham Deadpool is becoming more powerful as the we jump dimensions.

Late act 2 we have the big show down between our 3 and Statham Deadpool.  Its a will fight with body parts flying off and, ultimately Lady Deadpool is executed Count Dooku style from Revenge of the Sith.  Two crossed swords and one removed head.  Statham Deadpool throws the head into a fiery oil barrel.  She's dead.

Deadpool and Deadpool Dog are visually destroyed as we see Statham Deadpool jump to another dimension.

Act 3 is the revenge story with our Deadpool in a blind rage. He is so angry he points down the camera lens and says "**its getting real MF-ers".

Statham Deadpool has arrived in Disney Dimension. Its full of diversity and strong female empowerment.  He doesn't care.  He hacks throw women, children and minorities with no regard.(Maybe there's some subtext here?)  If there is a Deadpool cosplay or costume there is a dead body inside it.

Woof! Woof!  Two angry barks come off screen.  Deadpool Dog! and Our Deadpool super heroic in slow motion coming out of a portal.

The two Deadpools proceed to go on a Disneyland skirmish.  Fighting on every icon ride.

The Log Flume

Space Mountain

The other big named rides and areas, I don't know I was at Euro Disney once when I was about 13.

The fight naturally builds to the Castle and they fight amongst the parades and into the back with all the fire works.

Our Deadpool beats down Statham Deadpool and we Have Statham Deadpool giving his final bad guy speech.  Its all about the dangers of a massive company building and unstoppable empire.  Our Deadpool tells him to Shut up and unloads clips upon clips of bullets from hundreds of different guns just as the fireworks kick off and explode Statham sky high.

Epilogue.

A miserable Deadpool is sitting on the sofa with the old blind woman stroking Deadpool dog recounting the story.  She speakes up saying that if there is an infinite number of universes then surely there is another Lady Deadpool.  Deadpool makes a joke that are no other female superheroes, just... an he lists all the Marvel female heroes.  But wait maybe there is a universe where she is a natural blonde.  Hard cut to Deadpool dimension hopping again to find an other Lady Deadpool.  He eventually does and they kiss romantically.  "See women superheroes are totally replaceable". 

Then End.

Post Credits scene

Deadpool sits down with the three live action Spider-men.  "See I'm just like you guys.  Thats definately you under that mask Garfield, is it?"

BOOM! portal opens.  "Why so many portals?"  Out steps Liam Hemsworth.  "Holy **** its Superman!"

End. 

Wonder Woman 3 :: Pitches Be Crazy

In this episode of Pitches Be Crazy; I spit ball my idea for  Wonder Woman 3.

The brief:

Diana returns to Paradise Island to return the Arrow of Artemis after the evens of Zack Snyder's Justice League.  

Since she was banished after leaving for mans' world she is arrested and put on trial.  This scene builds to the court/jury sentencing her to imprisonment on the island, however, Diana calls them out saying the Queen needs to approve this sentence.  This causes a stir amongst the Amazons.

Hippolyta is sick.  Diana goes to see her and there it is explained that her days are numbered.  Diana asks how this is.  How does the Queen of Themyscira become sick on Paradise Island?

Turns out that Steppenwolf's invasion caused a gateway to Hades to crack open and all the evil of the dead is seeping into their world.  There is talk of ancient creatures being spotted on the island.  Minotaur, Hydra, a Gorgon and other demons of Hades.

Diana pleads with Queen Hippolyta to allow her to fix this mess and, hopefully, save her mother in the process.  This is agreed to with the understanding that suicide mission replaces part of her sentence.

But she cant do it alone...

Diana recruits a number of Amazons with different skills to join her in her endeavour.  All the tropes are represented, the Wise Elder, the Mercenary/Rogue, Lore Master (smart girl), the Athletic archer, the Barbarian (jock), etc. etc.  Each has their own kick-ass look and weapon/item that with definitely be used later in the movie.  While recruiting the Rogue from the dark dungeons of the Amazon cities they encounter Circe. Circe is an ancient, immortal sorceress of incredible power.  She warns Diana that he quest will only end in sorrow.

This is our group of heroes who go on a Clash of the Titans style quest to save Paradise Island.  

First they come to an inland village in the highlands near a lake where talk of a Hydra has made its home.  The team come together in a style to slay the monster.

Next a dangerous mission to kill the Gorgon (basically Medusa but not blatantly stated).  This causes a number of the party to die.  Turned to stone by the eyes of the Gorgon.  But on this trail Diana discovers the origin of the evil...  Hades.  She bags up the Gorgon's head and leaves.

The remaining adventurers head to that area of the Island with the Lore Master warning of the dangers.  Wonder Woman casts aside the warnings as "All the Old Gods are dead".

They arrive at the Gates of Hell, a mythical place with all the usual glowing green and purple smoke and lights.  It is here they find the cracks with evil dripping through, from the Underworld to Paradise Island.

This is where my idea forks in the road...

Path 1;

Diana uses the Gorgon's blood and seals the cracks.  The Queen recovers and Diana returns to the Capital a hero.  However Circe has gained enough power from the leaking evil to break free from her prison setting up a sequel.

Path 2;

Upon looking at the Gates and their damage Diana touches the break and is pulled into Hades.  Cut to black.

End it there?  Nope! Lets get epic.

POV.

Diana's eyes go in and out of focus.  A dark shade moves close.  We focus again.  "Di-ana...  my beautiful niece."

Cut to Diana picking her self up off the black obsidian floor to see... Hades, the Lord of the Underworld.

Hades is either a scary old man or an innocent looking young boy, I'll decide later.

Diana gets up and sees the dead spirits surrounding her.  The two walk towards Hades' Palace and Diana sees the Old Gods.  The Old Gods maybe dead and Hades still has dominion over the underworld.

When they reach the Throne Room of the underworld hades asks why Diana is here and she explains the story.

She tells him that he needs to keep his kingdom in order otherwise she will put in in order.  She is the God-killer after all.  Hades is all ready dead so he tells her to do her worst as he throws countless dead spirits at her. She fights them and Cerberus arrives to the fight.  

Much like Hercules' Twelfth Labour, Wonder Woman bests the creature and tosses the hound at Hade's feet.

The Lord of the Underworld now steps up and the two have a epic fight.  Fight explodes on the ground when Hade's attacks.  Souls cling onto him like a cloak.   Weapons clash, teeth nash and all hell literally breaks loose.

Diana reaches a new stage in her powers.  She as the Old Gods' power in her and she is the last living one.

She uses her gauntlets to create her shockwave only this time it is filled with lightning and fire.

Hades is spent.  He lies on the ground defeated.  Diana walks over to him and tells him to seal the cracks of hell. He argues back saying it was not his fault, it was the invader (Steppenwolf).  Diana puts it clearly that if he wishes to remain Lord of this place he must use his power to seal the breaks.

He agrees and Wonder Woman leaves the underworld.

She returns to her party, (who barely notice she was gone), and they return to the Capital.

It was too late an Hippolyta has died.  Diana will be the new Queen of the Amazons.

The movie ends with a coronation/funeral.

Mid-credits scene;

Circe's eyes glow with purple power from the underworld and she breaks out of her cell setting up a sequel.

Boom!

Ghostbusters International :: Pitches Be Crazy

After rewatching Ghostbusters Afterlife I had an idea for Pitches Be Crazy.

Ghostbusters Afterlife has a number of end credits scenes.  It feels like there was some studio meddling, the little Stay Puft marshmallows are a solid example (I talk about it my Ghostbusters Afterlife pod and blog).  But, anyway…  The last end credits scene seems to set up future movies.  The movie, and the 2016 movie, has a title card for Ghost Corps.  Ghost Corps, hmmm…

How about having a Ghostbusters movie set in European capitals?  Sounds good, eh?  Or even better a TV show with a couple of episodes creating a 3 or 4 episode arc in key places.  Does Sony have a streaming platform?  

So the first arc…

Episode 1-2

Winston Zeddemore arrives in London to set up a branch of the Ghost Corps in the UK.  In an increasingly secular Britain there is an abundance of old religious venues left to ruin.  He buys up an old Church as the new base of operations.  I just think it would be cool to have Ghostbusters in an old English church with a spire.  Regardless, it's somewhere other than an old fire station.

This run is largely Winston building the team and the UK corps.  Winston goes to Cambridge to try and get an Egon Sepngler type genius character.  He gets a fanatic who has his own website on the local paranormal and supernatural, basically a Podcast from Afterlife only more filled out, and an adult. He gets another member, a hands on everyman, probably comedic.  Look If i was running a studio I’d be looking a Simon Pegg and  Nick Frost type thing (although Nick Frost did that Amazon show, maybe I should watch that before finishing this).  Basically cast good up and coming British actors, casting from each of the four UK countries could be fun.  Or bring in a special guest Scot for an episode in Scotland, a Welsh actor for a Welsh story, an Ulsterman for Northern Ireland etc or not.

Ghost Corps UK.

Imagine an episode where the UK Ghostbusters chase after the spirit of Jack the Ripper. 

Imagine an episode where the UK Ghostbusters are on, basically, the Wicker Man island hunting Pagan deities. 

Imagine an episode where the UK Ghostbusters are exorcising the demons from the British Museum. 

Imagine an episode where the UK Ghostbusters go to Whitby and have a Dracula type story.  Imagine an episode where the UK Ghostbusters go after any British legend or folk story. The British Isles has legends going back through time, there are wars, disasters and atrocities deep in the history of the UK.

I'd watch a season of that.

Do a season in different areas, Paris, Rome, Sarajevo, Romania (literally any Eastern European region could have a plethora of stories) anywhere different, unique or interesting. Imagine all the cool Ecto vehicles; classic British motorbikes like Triumph or Royal Enfield, Kamaz or Tatra Trucks in Eastern Europe, stylish Italian sports cars (a Lamborghini with Proton packs) a Ural motorcycle with a portable containment unit in the side car.

Look the cartoons did it, so why not do a TV show.

If movies all Sony wants the how about this idea...

Ghostbusters meets Men In Black.  Think about it.  Two organisations working outside or above the government.  Now the problem comes in bringing these two units together.  I would need to be in the US, largely because the extra-terrestrial has a larger base there.  So there would need to be another branch of the Ghost Corps, like a West Coast Corps.  The 2016 movie seems to be outside the Afterlife and the 1980s movies, so they will probably be no use.  Shame because some of that movie could be redeemed here.  I know the comics did a crossover with the 1984 team, the 2016 team and the Real Ghostbusters cartoon team.  Easy for a comic book, less easy for live action mediums. 

The easy choice is the ghost of the Roswell Alien whose body is in Area 51.  Men in Black and Ghostbusters crossing over for a legitimate reason, easy, right? Imagine a haunted Area 51!